Chewing glass. I'm not sure if it's a real term or if I came up with it. I probably heard it from someone's dad at some point.

It's how I explained what this past month felt like to my friends today.

Last email was about how hard my month was. Naturally, that means every single fibre in my body wants to make this a really happy upbeat the world is great I AM HAPPY one.

But, in pursuit of making these emails some of the most vulnerable writing you read during your time spent on that soul sucking black box in your hands...

Chewing glass.

A big reason I struggle to hangout with "normies" is how accepted casual complaining is to most people.

As I've talked about before, I am NOT the "cut off your home friends disappear for 6 months unrecognizable!!" guy.

a) That's dumb

b) There is nothing you could do in those 6 months that would be worth more than a day-one ride-or-die group of friends (just ask any older rich guy)

c) You sound like a douche

There's no nobility in acting high and mighty. If you're one of the chosen ones, the gifted, the ones who see the world for how it is...

You approach the NPC-like world around you with grace and understanding. They don't know better. They're mainlining Netflix DEI dating real estate Is It Cake celebrity worship brainrot.

BUT...

I cannot be around them for longer than 90 minutes unless I am either incredibly "back to the old ways" deprived, or there's a Guinness tap.

The main reason for this is complaining.

Complaining simply does not register in my brain, nor does it with the people I surround myself with. It is a PURELY net-negative activity to participate in.

You instantly lower your status and respect from everyone around you (who doesn't HATE a complainer?), you make this already pretty twisted world seem much more grim than it is...

And you legitimately manifest worst things happening to you.

If you focus on red cars, there's suddenly way more red cars on the road.

If you focus on all the bad things going on in your life...

I say this because I hate complaining.

But being on the extreme end of things, I'm often unable to recognize when things fucking suck.

This past month sucked.

Not that every day sucked. I actually had some of the best weeks of my life. Met some amazing people, saw some amazing places.

But overall, sitting here looking back on it...

Fuck.

THIS is why I don't complain. Ask me how my months been, I'll tell you it was awesome. I'll list all those amazing people I met, show you pictures of all the places I've seen...

This is THE CORRECT WAY TO APPROACH THINGS.

However, there's a balance.

And the balance is this:

I got hit with 11 or 12 bullets this month. Lost some really close relationships (miss her man, she was the best), got my bank accounts rinsed, and had a nasty flare up of some chronic health issues I've been fighting for a few years.

But you will not catch me complaining about them. Aside from this email. And the conversation that sparked this email...

What you will catch me doing is acknowledging them. I'm not Thomas Shelby. I'm not cold and broken and calloused.

I am realistic.

And the reality is, these are about 1/10th as bad as the worst things I will ever experience, and about 1/100000000th as good as the absolutely amazing things I have in store this year.

So my laptop opens at the same time. The stims rip on cue. The Slack notifications start carpetbombing my ears and we start trekking again.

Without complaint.

And without pretending the world is sunshine and rainbows.

Do a complaint audit this week. Just be aware.

Don't even be aware of how many times YOU complain. We wish we were self aware and self critical enough to do that.

Just pay attention to the people around you. Listen for when they complain. Remember how it feels to have to be within ear shot of that garbage. Think about whether you respect them, look up to them, would trade lives with them.

Then remember this email.

Then think about all the shitty things that you had to crawl through this month.

All the glass you had to chew.

Then remember how insignificant it is, how much better is ahead, and how stupid you sound complaining about it.

Then put one foot in front of the other and get marching, soldier.

– RL